Sources of Inspiration & Reverence For Lasting Love
“Sources of Inspiration” is collaborative documentary film project that features interviews with couples who have satisfying long-term loving relationships. It was created and developed by me and a wonderful groups of other Emotionally Focused Therapists, including Sondra Goldstein, Ph.D., Jim Furrow, Ph.D., Veronica Kallos-Lilly, Ph.D., Nancy Gardner, Ph.D., and Robert Ogner, LCSW.
ABOUT THE FILM
Our film has been in the works for more than fifteen years. During this time, we interviewed couples whose love had grown over a lifetime, and look at extra-ordinary ways that love grows within the ordinary and imperfect lives of couples.
We’ve wondered what makes our very different little film about lasting love work. It seems that the several voices in the film weave an almost impressionistic dream of reverence for love that lasts.
These several voices include those of the couples featured, each partner’s dedication to their relationship evident. We hear their accumulation of deep acceptance and understanding of one another, and of their relationship. It is their humanness that moves and inspires us; imperfect like all of ours, and yet, as the narrators express: These partners have “learned from gutting it out, staying engaged, working it out, and digging deeper” which has led to them making ”exquisite discoveries” about themselves and each other, and the nature of loving one another.
Our two narrator’s voices add dimensions of sympathetic wisdom toward love stories that are grown over time. Their tender voices speak to what is universal in making love last. Their voices speak of rhythms and repair, of uncertainty and accomplishment, of trust and regret, of shattering and sacredness; and to the “unshakable reality of love that is time tested–grown deeper and richer than either could have imagined”.
The next voice is the voice of struggle, expressed in the short, non-verbal dramatizations of the young couple, falling out of connection and finding their way back to each other. We are evoked by the voice of their struggles because we know these struggles in our own hearts and bones.
WHO SHOULD SEE THIS FILM
We’ve been gratified to learn from viewer feedback that our film succeeds in its mission of providing inspiration, understanding, and a positive sense for couples that love can really last and grow. The film can inspire discussion in high school and college family life education courses, and in marital enrichment programs. It can be a useful tool for couple therapists to share with couples who’ve had little exposure to lasting love. It can be a fine, supportive expression of love as an engagement or wedding present.
Overall, our hope for this film is that viewers will witness the couples’ imperfections, their diversity, their challenges, their changes and their love over their years together. As a source of inspiration, our film aims to teach us from the life experience of the features couples what lasting love is, and to help us reflect on our own relationships and/or our clients’ experience of long-term attachment.
BEHIND THE SCENES
This film has a long evolution. Dr. Goldstein and I had filmed, over several years, interviews with 25 couples about how their love had grown over a lifetime. When our colleagues at the Los Angeles Center for Emotionally Focused Therapy were ready for a new creative project, we decided to expand on these interviews. Our team of two grew and soon we had an additional 30 interviews to draw from.
Over the years of developing this project we invited couples to tell stories about how they saw their love growing stronger over the years. Their interviews were voluntary and not part of a research project or clinical process. We just looked for couples who could share their version of how they arrived at long lasting love in the ordinary and everyday way love grows through sharing a life together.
CREDITS
We owe credit to many colleagues over the five years of developing our project:
Project Inspiration, Project Development and Coordination & Interviews: Sondra Goldstein, PhD. and Susan Thau, PhD.
Project Development and Narration: Jim Furrow, PhD. and Veronica Kallos-Lilly, PhD.
Project Development and Coordination & Interviews: Nancy Gardner, PhD.
Project Development and Coordination, Interviews & Producer: Robert Ogner, LCSW
Profound Early Involvement, Interview Development & Interviews: Veronica Kallos-Lilly & James Furrow, Karen Shore, PhD., June Shigeno, PhD., Karen Martin Fiedler, LMFT, Veronica Thomas, PhD., Elizabeth Shon, PhD., Madelyn Swed, PhD.
Directed & Filmed By: Levi Ogner & Brian Way
Edited By: Levi Ogner
Graphic Design and Titles By: Zoe Byrne Ogner
Young Couple Played By: Shen and Megan Deshayne
And Thank You To All The Couples Interviewed, Especially: Efi & Miriam, Johnny & Cynthia, David & Kitsy, Walleed & Ferial, Susi & Chris, Wendy & David
